After reading one of my favorite blogs, I had to take a step back.
I like nice things. I do. And, those closest to me are aware of this. But, to people that don't know me, it might seem like I think the things that I have are what make me, well me. And, I have realized in the past year, more than ever, things do not make your life worthwhile.
Being married into the military can be tough. Our first assignment was Andrews, just outside of DC. At the time that we moved there, I was still very much doing my best to cope with the death of my Dad, then the death of my sweet Mother-in-Law, and learning to live outside of a metropolitan area for the first time in my life, without lifelong friends and family, and being without friends for an extended period of time before meeting people; shopping helped dull those things, at least for a short time.
Last year, while J was in Korea, my sister & I loved to spend a day just shopping each week. It was our time together to try on things that we liked and discuss the things in each of our lives. Same with my Mom and her best friend. That was my outlet.
I grew up (and last year, moved back to) in a city where there are no buildings taller than maybe 3 stories, and even then, there is just one. A bank. A place where rodeos are the main draw to our city, cows and horses are everywhere and the sky is wide and open, and the stars are big (&bright. :)) The only things to do there, besides climbing trees and swimming in lakes, or getting large stacks of books from the library, were shopping at Wal-Mart or driving 45 minutes to the nearest mall. Or, Ross. Or Marshalls. Or even Target.
In the last couple of years, I have lost 50 pounds that I put on with my other way of coping, eating.
On this blog, I do post about things I buy, things we do, places we go, what we eat, what we cook, etc. I don't ever want anyone who comes here to think that I feel that I am better than anyone. I learned that lesson a long time ago when my Dad overheard me say that I was better than another little girl who rode the van to church and I don't think I have ever felt lower than I have after my Dad got done talking to me. My parents taught my siblings and I that everyone we encounter are to be treated as our equal. Please know that anytime I post anything here, no matter what the subject, it does not come from a place of me trying to portray myself as someone who has it all, wants it all or frankly, has it all together. I will be the first to tell you I definitely do not.
I do however, love fashion. I always have really, but for the last few years, I didn't buy clothes if I could avoid it. I hated the way I looked. So, I indulged in purses. After all, purses always fit. I thought that if I didn't look the way that I wanted, at least I would have something pretty to help detract from that. So, it may seem now that I shop a lot. I might. However, when I do, I rarely pay original prices. I have an inner price system, if you will, I will not pay over such and such for a top, or this number for pants, etc. I often choose to shop at places like H&M and in Germany, TK Maxx. I have purchased the majority of the clothes I own at places like Ross or Marshalls. I don't care much about what the label says. And, living here is great, because I don't know very many of them anyway. :) But, I have also learned in the last year to wear what I like, and not let what other people think determine my confidence while wearing it. I do however, love designer bags. That is the honest truth. However, I have never paid full price for a single one that I own, waiting for sales online or finding them at outlets, and even EBAY. This Texan loves a great deal and frankly, if I knew where the closest re-sale shops or thrift shops were in my neck of the woods, I would be shopping there!
All of this aside, those aren't the things that make me who I am. Not the clothes, the shoes, the bags, the car, the size clothes I wear. None of that. And, I don't want to be known by what I have or what I buy or what I have done. I want people to remember my love of life! My love of people. My willingness to always give people a second chance, even when it hurts. After all, isn't that what each one of us has been given by a merciful Savior?
The things that make me happiest? Sunshine. Hugs & kisses from my husband. Kisses from my sweet little puppy. Bright colors, the ones that almost blind you. Springtime flowers. Reading a book in my hammock. Cooking dinner for sweet friends. Baking a dessert for someone who needs a sweet and a smile. Getting really lost in a book. Hearing from an old friend, just letting you know that they still care. Reuniting with those old friends. Enjoying a nice, warm cup of tea while cuddled up on the couch. A good, thick fashion magazine for inspiration for the season. Family. Friends that become family.
I hope when friends and family read this blog they know that what I post here is for people to keep up with what I am doing, what I am interested in and what is new in our lives. Never is it meant to be a place of bragging or showing off. And, I guess sometimes in my excitement about certain things, it can seem that way, so that is exactly why I am setting the record straight. :)
Just a little song to leave you with, about how we are all so much more. YOU ARE MORE.
