Missing You, Debbie.

For friends and family who may not yet know, Jason and I lost a very special part of our family and hearts.
My sweet and beautiful, inside and out, Mother-in-law passed away Monday, September 22, 2008.
From the very beginning of my relationship with Jason, Debbie welcomed me into her life, family and home. I miss so much, the time we spent together. This morning, I sat outside, where we sat together, many times, where I would come and sit and talk, sometimes paint my nails, whatever it may have been, while Debbie smoked, read or just sat outside enjoying the day and her garden. It is very hard to lose anyone that you love, most especially, someone who was such a huge part of your life.
I feel so amazingly blessed for the time I had both with Debbie, or as I referred to her, Mom, because she was a Mother to so many, including many friends and family members. I don't think you are ever ready to lose anyone you love and I realize now, even when someone may be sick, it is not any easier than losing someone who passes unexpectedly, as my Dad did. Everyone asks, was it sudden? And, to me, yes, it still was. I definitely did not know that when she came to visit with other family members in July, that it would be the last time I laughed with her, hugged her or just enjoyed her company in silence.
For someone who I may have only known a short few years, I will miss her for a lifetime.
I love you, Debbie-Mom. I miss you.

Anticipation.

Here I am. Sitting at my computer. I have one full day left, to actually be able to dedicate to cleaning my house, before Mom and Melinda get here, but I am spending time online, because time always seems to slip away from me here, therefore, time appears to pass quicker.

I am totally unmotivated, because I am super excited that I can finally entertain people, at my home! Yay! Plus, we have not been downtown in probably a month, because of other engagements and happenings.

I am so excited to cook and take them to places I have fallen in love with and also, go to places I have not yet, been.

I love my life. I feel so blessed and fortunate to have what I have and be able to enjoy everything that I have. I know we all get carried away sometimes, worrying or being negative, but I have definitely noticed a change, since some of the negativity that was affecting me in a not so good way, is out of my life. I can concentrate on surrounding myself with people who are positive and appreciative of the short lives we are blessed with. After all, time is all we have, when it is all said and done.

101 in 1001.

This is a list of 101 things I would like to do in 1001 days. :) I will update, shortly. :)

1. Finish my Photography degree. [Completed]
2. Buy a media card reader, for my USB Port. [Completed, bought a laptop with a card reader. :)]
3. Design my own line of clothing.
4. Make jewelry out of the clay I have had almost a year, now.
5. Create a logo for my photography business. [Completed]
6. Decide whether or not I want a job, before the end of the year. [Completed]
7. Take a honeymoon, finally. [Completed 12/08]
8. See the ball drop on New Years' in Times Square. [Completed 1/1/09]
9. Find out if it is, in fact, too late to learn to perform traditional (Irish) set and céilí dances.
10. Do project 365 with my photography. [Currently working on this]
11. Get canvas prints of my photography.
12. Learn to sew.
13. Eat at the Blue Moon Diner, in Baltimore, MD. [Completed, 7/12/09]
14. Have blueberry pancakes at Eastern Market, on a Saturday morning. [I had crepes instead. :)]
15. Ride the Metro, by myself. [Completed]
16. Complete a 26 Things project, all on places/things in DC.
17. Create an actual photography website. [In the process]
18. Shoot a deployment return/reunion. [Completed 1/09]
19. Create my own camera bag, and use it. [Completed]
20. Get a piggybank. Fill it.
21. Don't be afraid to take tons of photos at Eastern Market's produce section. [Completed]
22. Buy some Louboutin's, or atleast pick out the ones I will some day, have. [Completed]
23. Make my own fashion blog.
24. Actually finish a scrapbook, I start. [Completed]
25. Make a montage of photos from Boy Scout Camp. [Completed, slideshows with Jason Summer 2009]
26. Make a tribute of photos, of my Dad.
27. Buy more filters for my camera lenses. [Completed 8-4-08]
28. Get some abs.
29. Stop procrastinating. [Completed]
30. Frame and sale some of my work.
31. Actually rock my PINK wedding shoes. :D
32. Step up from my Pilates Beginning Mat workout, and onto the Weight Loss one.
33. Memorize the Hula dance from my video and perform it for anyone who cares. ;)
34. Start journaling, again.
35. Write a new poem.
36. Lose 10 pounds, before Christmas. [Completed]
37. Actually weigh myself. [Completed 8-08]
38. Realize that no matter what I weigh, I look good, already. It ain't nuttin' but a number. [Completed]
39. Work at camp, atleast one more summer. [Completed]
40. Set up a darkroom.
41. Learn Spanish, with Rosetta Stone. I guess it doesn't have to be with The Stone. :)
42. Get my camera's lighting right at night, and take a great photo of DC at night. [Completed]
43. Memorize, for the most part, my camera's manual, so I can use my camera to it's maximum potential. :)
44. Take my Tripod out of its box, and use it. [Completed 09/08]
45. Pay off my Victoria's Secret card, whose balance is high, only because Semi Annual just passed. Normally it is always zeroed out.
46. Make my own mean cup of Chai tea.
47. Make some specialty cupcakes for the guys Jason works with. [Completed]
48. Branch out and try to meet new people. [Completed]
49. Get to know the neighbors, better. [Completed]
50. Use watermarks/graphics on my photos. [Completed]
51. Take my Mom to Eastern Market. [Completed 09/08]
52. Buy some of the beautiful flowers they sell at the Market. [Completed]
53. Get better at graphics. [Completed]
54. Create and buy my own items from Cafe Press. :)
55. Make up my own recipes. [Completed]
56. Host a dinner party and be an amazing hostess. [Completed]
57. Make an apron.
58. Sell my stuff at Eastern Market.
59. Make a cord bracelet.
60. Bring some more Blue Bell back up to DC, next time I go down South.
61. Set up my own backdrop. [Completed]
62. Set up in faery set.
63. Have a fashion photoshoot.
64. Design my own lingerie line.
65. Learn to play Cribbage.
66. Create my own artwork, aside from photography.
67. Have frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity3 in NYC. [Visited Serendipity3, 1/09]
68. Go to Central Park. [Completed 1/09]
69. Have a cupcake at Magnolia Bakery or Billy's Bakery, in NYC. [2 cupcakes from Magnolia, 1/09]
70. Identify 100 things that make me happy.
71. See the lighting of a Christmas tree in DC. [Completed, Alexandria, 11/08]
72. Go to a Nats game. [Completed Summer 2009]
73. Keep in touch with friends, better. [Completed]
74. Get my Look Book up to speed.
75. Make my own lists of fashion rules I live by. [Completed]
76. Make my own soap.
77. Go to Thrift Shops in this area. [Completed]
78. Get a 'Go-to' bag. [Completed 8-1-08]
79. Make my own body scrub.
80. Make my own lip gloss.
81. Create a portfolio of my work.
82. Learn how to tie a bandana on my head, correctly.
83. Enter my photos in contests. [Completed 09/08]
84. Make my own biscotti.
85. Take some new black and white photos.
86. Catch up with an old friend. [Completed 10/08]
87. Organize my bookmarks, on Firefox. [Completed]
89. Make artwork for walls. [Completed]
90. Create photo collage on walls. [Completed]
91. Create a theme for the random, upstairs spare room.
92. Make my own cupcake recipe.
93. Decide on kids' names. [Completed]
94. Decide where we would like to move, after DC. [Completed]
95. Go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. [Completed]
96. Visit the National Cathedral. [Completed]
97. Visit atleast one Embassy.
98. Take a tour of the Capitol City Brewery. [Completed]
99. Go to Georgetown. [Completed 12/08]
100. Take Jason to the Spy Museum.
101. Get a GREAT fireworks shot. [Completed, NYC, 1/01/09]

Trying to Conceive..

Seriously.

I must be the only person around me, who isn't pregnant or currently trying to conceive or TTC, as it is known here in 'Military Land.' And, I honestly do not want a child right now. I have so many things I want to accomplish before then, so many things to see and do. I am still being selfish, because when I get pregnant, I do not want to be selfish anymore. I want my children to be my world, along with Jason and Dublin. :) I want to be wonderful mother, who will sacrifice my own wants and needs for my children. And, yes, I do want more than one.

For now, having freedom is wonderful. I love not having a reason to be tied down or an excuse not to be able to do things. It is honestly very hard for me to fathom why someone who is barely 18, would be purposely be trying to have a child. I am twenty-two years old and consider myself to be a very intelligent and mature individual, and I am here to tell you, I am not ready for a child. I do think I am closer to being ready than someone who has barely been married a year and is still but a child. Today is different than 50 years ago, and a heck of a lot harder of a world to attempt to raise a child in, at an age where you are still a child. Now, I know, I am always going to be learning, growing. I do not think you need to know everything before you try to have a child, but I do think you need to have a little more life experience than high school, and little more than that.

Nevertheless, my life and my choices are to wait until I feel better prepared to have a child and not be a child, raising a child. Being a Mother will be wonderful, when I am ready. And, I think that is a very adult-like thing to do, wait.

Children are much more than playthings or dolls, they are human beings who deserve the best life that can be given them. And, my children will have all that I can give them. And, above any material thing I can give them, I will give them my love and I will hand over my selfishness, for my life will no longer be just about me. It will no longer be just about Jason and I. It will be about the amazing beings God sends to us. I am excited to become a Mom, but, I can wait. :)

Catching Up!

So..I am finally home! The last few months were great to be able to see and spend time with people I love..but sadly, being there, brought me down. It is hard realizing that friends that you have had are slowly becoming people you don't know or possibly want to know. I guess there comes a time when some friendships are not meant to last. It is hard, accepting the change, but I guess sometimes it is for the best. :) I definitely struggle with relationships, I do not think it is all me, but I am not that great with them. I am working on myself though, I want to be able to not get so down and frustrated when people unintentionally hurt me. I have to believe the good in people, and not listen to Satan's lies that I am not good enough for anyone. So..this is definitely one of my resolutions!

Other than that, let's catch up! :) I spent three months in Texas, dividing my time between Athens and San Antonio. I did a lot of shopping, a lot of coffee drinking and eating :( (another resolution is to be healthy again!), spent a considerable amount of time working out with Stacey, Jenna might have possibly gotten me addicted to running (gasp! I have NEVER been a runner!), and lots of quality time with those I love.

The last week and a half of Jason's training, I spent in San Antonio, with Heather, my little Together! We had mucho fun baking lots of Christmas goodies, we watched lots of tv..mostly The View, Oprah and Tyra. We had tea time and did a little shopping. I went to the Shops at La Cantera and spent a good amount of money at my favorite new store, Bath Junkie. I need to post a link, so you can understand! We finished up Christmas shopping, ate out a lot with Jason. The three of us, meaning Jason, Heather and I, also had a wonderful night out at a place called 'The Melting Pot' which is an amazing fondue restaurant, where, there, along with my friend, Ted Wes, had a lovely appetizer of Meditteranean cheese fondue, followed by a steaming pot of coq au vin, which we cooked our own dinner in that included foods such as: wild mushroom stuffed ravioli, filet mignon, teryaki chicken, pork..and lots ofother meats, veggies and pastas accompanied by tons of sauces for dipping. The closing of our amazing meal was a delicious smore chocolate fondue with cheescake bites, graham crackers, covered marshmallows, strawberries and bananas, and my favorite sponge cake and brownies! Yumm! We got into a car accident the night before Jason's graduation..so we had to deal with that, and miss his graduation dinner..but luckily, we were fine, and the car is fixable.

Jason graduated from his LRO training on a Wednesday and then we headed back home. My Grandparents moved the Christmas festivities to that Saturday, so we could join in and we also got to spend time with Tori and Melinda later that night. :) We left for Bossier the next day, to spend time with Jason's family, and we had a great time, and had some awesome food! :) Can you tell, I love food? Good thing I work out, or I would be as big as a house! :)

For Christmas, Jason got me a standing jewelry box (that is beautiful, I put it together last night. :)), a hammock (I won't be able to use that for a while, seeing as snow is supposed to come very soon), and he is getting me Adobe Photoshop 5.0. I got him a camera and some other nice things, but the most important thing, is he loves his camera and has his own for touring DC and the surrounding area. :) I also got some beautiful cowboy boots, from Madre..along with some really cute jewelry and some cute tops. Jason's family got me an automatic tea maker, that I love! It goes well with my cute teapot set that Melinda got me! I love all my tea stuff!! We also got our Kitchen Aid!! I am so excited! I cannot wait to use it!

We left the South on a Friday afternoon, and took our time getting back to DC. We were able to see some beautiful scenery, as we took the scenic route home (purposefully :)). We saw the site of the 1996 Summer Olympics Kayaking site in Tennesssee, and spent some time there, stopped and took some great water pics along the way, tried to take the Blue Ridge Parkway the next day, unfortunately the two times we tried, weather was not permitting. The second try, we got off on a highway that was going up through mountains in North Carolina, and the further we went, the more foggy it became, and we decided since we could not see 10 feet in front of us, and since it was supposed to begin snowing quickly after, that it was not a good idea after all. :) We made it back this past Sunday, and I have never been so happy to be in my own home again. It helps that I love my house. When we got home, we also were greeted by a wonderful surprise! While we were gone, we knew our landlords were redoing our upstairs bathroom..but what e didn't know is how amazing it would be! Jason and I know have a MASTER bathroom suite, where as, before, it was a detached tiny bathroom with no closet/shelf space inside with hidious rose pink details, such as the bathtub, towel racks, etc. Now, our bathroom is neutral, the floor is a grey slate palette of tiles, our bathtub is WHITE, the bath area is tiled, and we have a huge lined/towel/Heather's bath products closet WITH a door connecting to our room! It is amazing, I am so happy about it!

Jason and I have not yet made it to Murphy's. I think that is what we will likely do this weekend. :) We spent our New Year's eating broccoli casserole and watching Dick Clark, and this year, the first time I watched it aired, it actually was the New Year for me. As opposed to catching it the second time around in Texas or Louisiana because of the time difference. :)

Yesterday, we did some much needed shopping. I got the cutest new pair of Hollywould shoes. They are black peep toe heels with a bow on the back with a black on black leopard pattern. Very old 'Hollywould.' :) I think that is about it! I need to get moving for the first time today. I have yet to eat anything. :)

xoxo,
Heather