Trying to Conceive..

Seriously.

I must be the only person around me, who isn't pregnant or currently trying to conceive or TTC, as it is known here in 'Military Land.' And, I honestly do not want a child right now. I have so many things I want to accomplish before then, so many things to see and do. I am still being selfish, because when I get pregnant, I do not want to be selfish anymore. I want my children to be my world, along with Jason and Dublin. :) I want to be wonderful mother, who will sacrifice my own wants and needs for my children. And, yes, I do want more than one.

For now, having freedom is wonderful. I love not having a reason to be tied down or an excuse not to be able to do things. It is honestly very hard for me to fathom why someone who is barely 18, would be purposely be trying to have a child. I am twenty-two years old and consider myself to be a very intelligent and mature individual, and I am here to tell you, I am not ready for a child. I do think I am closer to being ready than someone who has barely been married a year and is still but a child. Today is different than 50 years ago, and a heck of a lot harder of a world to attempt to raise a child in, at an age where you are still a child. Now, I know, I am always going to be learning, growing. I do not think you need to know everything before you try to have a child, but I do think you need to have a little more life experience than high school, and little more than that.

Nevertheless, my life and my choices are to wait until I feel better prepared to have a child and not be a child, raising a child. Being a Mother will be wonderful, when I am ready. And, I think that is a very adult-like thing to do, wait.

Children are much more than playthings or dolls, they are human beings who deserve the best life that can be given them. And, my children will have all that I can give them. And, above any material thing I can give them, I will give them my love and I will hand over my selfishness, for my life will no longer be just about me. It will no longer be just about Jason and I. It will be about the amazing beings God sends to us. I am excited to become a Mom, but, I can wait. :)