the more frustrated i become with certain situations, the more i feel like God is trying to teach me something in the midst of my frustration.
sometimes, i get so mad. and, then, i feel a gentle prodding reminding me that i don't know all of what people are really dealing with in their lives. my human nature is to get mad and 'fight' back. with words that can hurt. actions that can damage. not to mention, when i do react in a negative way, it gives me more stress. i don't think i need to tell you that with everything else i am juggling, i do not need any extra stress.
there is so much i don't talk about. things that are deeply personal and frankly, things that i can't change and i can't do without God. i mess up more times than i would like to admit. i am not the person i would like to be. but, i want to get there. and, i don't want to give up.
i say all this to say, if i know there is much i don't discuss, people that i encounter daily, have so much they leave unsaid too. things that are to painful to talk about. things that are tough. things that would break your heart.
everyone has something. no one is perfect. no one's life is perfect. everyone is hiding something that if we knew, we would have compassion even for our greatest enemies. life brings pain. no one leaves this life having never experienced something that broke their heart.
the more and more i feel like i am getting a lesson in learning that people project the hurt inside of them by the way they react and act, the more i am forced to deal with situations that i have been struggling with, head on. and, in certain situations, i see how i reacted in a certain way, because of the pain i have regarding certain things. it's hard. i don't want to think about them. i don't want to talk about them. i have trouble giving them and trusting God with them. who do i think i am? do i not accept the fact that God will work it out? one way or another, it will turn out just the way God planned it anyway and He really doesn't need my help. do i not believe that when i think i can never do something, God can do it? He can give me the strength to do things i feel incapable of doing and things i believe impossible.
i know this, even when i try to take my situations into my hands and end up making a bigger mess of them, GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. i do not. i could not fathom the wonderful things God has in store, to engulf the pain, heartache and fear that i have, to be replaced with joy and blessings i can not imagine!
xoxo,
heather
No comments:
Post a Comment